Excizing Drexel's Shaft

Drexel University is now officially post-op.  It is of little importance that Drexel university itself is in no significant way related to the former power station chimney.  What matters is that thousands of witless college students had a simulacrum of Drexel's famous bureaucratic ineptness, and now it is gone.  The giant, stone chimney/boner has been referred to as the Drexel Shaft for time immemorial (probably as far back as the 1970's *gasp*).  People have also been referring to the guaranteed  lack of adequate service, difficulty accomplishing seemingly routine tasks, poor attitude, broken or non-existent facilities, and generally unpleasant experience dealing with Drexel University administration as the Drexel Shaft.  I'm truly sorry for all current and future Drexel students who will be deprived of the colossal  stone dick during their walks about campus, but doubtlessly will not be spared the pounding of the true Drexel Shaft, which obviously can't be solved by dynamite alone.

Living vicariously through the deeds of others

I would be remiss not to make mention of the titanic struggle currently taking place between Philadelphia and New York city. Obviously, New York has many amenities as a city that Philadelphia lacks, but Philadelphia... Philadelphia has a more concise identity as a city than New York does. New York's advantage in size, opportunity, diversity is also its great downfall, it is too expansive to be summed up. There is a niche for everyone. Also, New York does not have a good nick-name. Philadelphia does. Philly is also is home to several typically under-performing major sports teams. Last year, the Phillies (an admittedly unimaginative name) finally brought Philadelphia something that the under-performing average Philadelphian could relish. Winning the world series against ... I don't even really recall who the opponent was, the Rays?... formidable adversaries allowed every Philadelphian (imported or not) to feel a certain civic pride. It was as though Philadelphia the city willed its baseball team to power, and after winning, the city took back the power and decided to expend its surfeit by destroying as much of Philadelphia as they could lay their drunken hands on.

Bully that Philadelphia might have been toward a place like Tampa, it now finds itself against the ultimate bully. A city with arguably just as much history, more character, more wealth, and bigger concrete and steel phallusses than Philly can muster. The only thing that Philly has that no city in the world can rival is the Phanatic. He represents the pinnacle of sports mascotdom. Memorable, lewd, cute, hilarious, fictional, expressive, neon green... his qualities are unparalleled by any other mascot, for any team, in any sport. The Phanatic could easily destroy all of New York with one fluffy thrust of his pelvis.

Phanatic v. King Kong