Wheels, hills, gears, thrills

As any regular non-reader must have noticed, despite being a riff on a much more popular blogger's site, this one has yet to feature any meaningful content related to bikes.  I must take a moment to acknowledge why this has been the case, to allow all those who do not read to remain in their ignorance.

I was not, until very recently, a roadie.  My only claim to bicycling was a fixed gear track bike which I used to shred the massive 4 or 6 blocks to the office where I worked and back to my apartment.  I believed that I could not even begin to be a bikesnob impostor without a proper multi-speed bike.  And, unlike others, I resisted the urge to purchase an awesome roadie for as long as I possibly could.

I will be giving you, (and by you I mean me, because I'm positive I'm the only one who reads this) the tale of how I actually joined the ranks of fred-dom and attempt to act as a foil to the actual, nerdy, living bikesnobnyc.

Stay tuned.

Thursdy-Thursdays

Philadelphia is mired in one of the greatest heat waves that has ever been felt in such an early month of spring.  Naturally, many Philadelphians have pulled their bikes, scooters, and motorcycles out of winter hibernation and have scrambled to get them road-worthy to take advantage of the ungodly hotness available outside.  Being an incredibly macho (or perhaps impulsive and reckless) biker / scooterist / motorcyclist there were no cobwebs to remove from any of my trusty steeds with the advent of the nice weather.  Having braved the incredibly snowy winter of 2010 astride my trusty Ruckus, the only indicator of the changed season is a massive amount of salty road-grime besotting the whole undercarriage of the scooter, which will probably rinse away once more of April's famous showers drench Philly's streets.

Let me make an excuse for my writing under this derivative pseudonym.  I decided one day a while ago that I would much rather spend my idle time writing for my own blog rather than reading the blogs of others.  I have read probably all of the renowned bsnyc's blog posts, and I probably will continue to read them, but my brain grows mushy and weak, and my work does not provide it sufficient stimulation to keep it from turning into so many pudding snacks.  Thus bsphl was born.  I was initially surprised that there wasn't some enterprising philadelphian who had already taken the name.  I will happily take up the cause and rep philladelphia as the bikesnob.

Hate if you must, just for the love of god don't race to post inane comments like 1st top 10 podium etc.  Too much of the internet is already comprised of substance lacking blather.

Excizing Drexel's Shaft

Drexel University is now officially post-op.  It is of little importance that Drexel university itself is in no significant way related to the former power station chimney.  What matters is that thousands of witless college students had a simulacrum of Drexel's famous bureaucratic ineptness, and now it is gone.  The giant, stone chimney/boner has been referred to as the Drexel Shaft for time immemorial (probably as far back as the 1970's *gasp*).  People have also been referring to the guaranteed  lack of adequate service, difficulty accomplishing seemingly routine tasks, poor attitude, broken or non-existent facilities, and generally unpleasant experience dealing with Drexel University administration as the Drexel Shaft.  I'm truly sorry for all current and future Drexel students who will be deprived of the colossal  stone dick during their walks about campus, but doubtlessly will not be spared the pounding of the true Drexel Shaft, which obviously can't be solved by dynamite alone.

Living vicariously through the deeds of others

I would be remiss not to make mention of the titanic struggle currently taking place between Philadelphia and New York city. Obviously, New York has many amenities as a city that Philadelphia lacks, but Philadelphia... Philadelphia has a more concise identity as a city than New York does. New York's advantage in size, opportunity, diversity is also its great downfall, it is too expansive to be summed up. There is a niche for everyone. Also, New York does not have a good nick-name. Philadelphia does. Philly is also is home to several typically under-performing major sports teams. Last year, the Phillies (an admittedly unimaginative name) finally brought Philadelphia something that the under-performing average Philadelphian could relish. Winning the world series against ... I don't even really recall who the opponent was, the Rays?... formidable adversaries allowed every Philadelphian (imported or not) to feel a certain civic pride. It was as though Philadelphia the city willed its baseball team to power, and after winning, the city took back the power and decided to expend its surfeit by destroying as much of Philadelphia as they could lay their drunken hands on.

Bully that Philadelphia might have been toward a place like Tampa, it now finds itself against the ultimate bully. A city with arguably just as much history, more character, more wealth, and bigger concrete and steel phallusses than Philly can muster. The only thing that Philly has that no city in the world can rival is the Phanatic. He represents the pinnacle of sports mascotdom. Memorable, lewd, cute, hilarious, fictional, expressive, neon green... his qualities are unparalleled by any other mascot, for any team, in any sport. The Phanatic could easily destroy all of New York with one fluffy thrust of his pelvis.

Phanatic v. King Kong